he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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