Small penises have feelings too.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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