yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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