We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
