On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
