Define "chronic" masturbator.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
