Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
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