She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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