She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
