the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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