just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
