um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I understand Curling. That high.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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