i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize