hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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