I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
please come you make the beer taste better
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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