i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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