Will you blow on my dice?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She's the barista slut.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
