You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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