Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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