Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
