I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
