hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
