I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
my poor anus
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
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