The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize