i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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