Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
