Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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