Umm I'm too high to move.
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
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im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize