am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
