Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
