You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
