Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
