I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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