Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize