So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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