I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
