This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
