We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
