We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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