my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize
