All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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