That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
