I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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