brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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