they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
