i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
