screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
