benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You may now shotgun with the bride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize