whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Randomize
