Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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