ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
