This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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