When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
