Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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