There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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